Moving Forward after the Unemployment Fall

October, 2009

Yesterday when I woke up to an early October snow fall, I felt the sudden urge to write again.

After six long weeks of my husband getting word that he was officially laid off, I went into a kind of mourning that one goes through after a loss. He had been home on paid furlough for almost eight weeks, but I was in the mindset that he would be called back to work. I wasn’t braced for the finality of it all. Nor was I braced for my husband to continue to be at home. I’m what you call a social introvert, meaning that while I’m very good at socializing, but I crave endless time alone. Everyone said, oh this will be such a great time for the two of you to re-connect, spend more time together. I could have told “everyone” that we are very well connected and I truthfully didn’t need any more time together, but that would have come off as insensitive and uncaring, which I am not. I couldn’t tell everyone that my time is precious to me & I had just lost it.

The snow cover on the ground yesterday morning woke up my senses. It was crisp and clear outside; I felt revitalized. I wrote more than I had in four weeks. Not much worth hubbing about, but a few that I deemed publishable. I know now that writing to sell needs to be my niche and it is far from my comfort zone, but we all learn over time. It just seems laborious and boring, but I also look at it as a way to earn a small amount until unemployment turns into employment.

I’ve felt so unsure of the future, I’m a planner. I felt during the period of loss that there was nothing to plan for. I don’t know where I’ll be living in two months or six months, I find planning has lost and learning how to be patient is a must.

Daily, I search the internet on my laptop as my husband searches on the desktop for job openings. For every one Engineering Program Manager position, there are 500 – 1,000 applicants. He has applied for jobs in nearly every state across the US. Our biggest hope is that his resume doesn’t continue to fall into the black hole of oblivion never to be seen by an HR rep. or hiring manager. Hope did show its face last week. My husband’s uncle is a well connected, very well liked business professional who contracts for many companies during his now retired years. He requested my husband’s resume and is hand delivering it and emailing it to his professional associates who may have a lead or can pass my husband’s resume on.

In two short weeks my daughter will be able to go into the Admissions office at her University & declare that her dad has been unemployed for eight weeks. Students are discouraged from requesting any aid until after the main income source has been unemployed for eight weeks. Hopefully there will be some financial help for her and one less worry for us.

I haven’t lost the sense of feeling guilty or money fear. I’m use to being able to give my kids what they need & usually more. Now I’m having to say no to new winter coats – you’ll need to use the one from last year, it still fits (even though out of fashion) I had to cut back big time on fall/winter clothes for both kids – mostly of fear. I’m now afraid to spend money. It has been difficult to tell them both no, they are use to Hollister and Abercrombie and I’m now suggesting TJ Maxx and Marshall’s. They are not complaining, which makes me feel better about it all. Yesterday, though, the sadness in my son’s eyes was evident when I told him there would be no season ski pass this year.

All in all, I am getting back to the basics in life. After all, I’ve lived much worse off than I am now, I survived. We are fortunate to have saved heftily over the last 20 years, and my husband’s 22 week severance package, is being used quite frugally. We are fortunate to have our health and each other and no debt.

So now it’s time I kicked myself in the butt, got out of this lounger and started living again. Unemployment slapped me down for a good long time, now it’s time to look forward and become positive about life again. Somewhere along the line I started taking too much for granted and now I hope to take nothing for granted anymore.

A sincere thank you to those hubbers (you know who you are) who have been there for me with words of encouragement.

On I go to find keywords, create backlinks, learn more about SEO content and all things that make a good hub.

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